Dependence on other people’s opinions is common to all of us. This is fine. Man is a social being. But if the thought “what will people think” determines all our decisions and actions, then the time has come for drastic changes in life.
Five signs of dependence on other people’s opinions
Five signs that may indicate that you are too dependent on other people’s opinions:
1. The desire for approval from other people.
You constantly seek other people’s approval in your actions and decisions.
2. Worry about criticism.
Criticism and negative feedback cause you excessive anxiety, stress and depression.
3. Willingness to adapt to the expectations of others.
You change your beliefs, tastes and behavior to meet other people’s standards.
4. Addiction to social networks and likes.
You feel depressed and upset if your posts and photos on social media do not receive the attention and approval you desire.
5. Refusal of one’s own desires and interests.
You often give up your interests and desires for the sake of expecting someone else’s approval.
How to stop depending on the opinions of others?
Psychologist Victoria Dmitrieva in her TG channel offers an exercise that will help you understand that not liking someone is not so scary.
The specialist suggests dividing all people according to the importance of their opinions about you into three categories:
- People whose opinions are very important.
- Whose opinion is of little significance and can be ignored.
- Whose opinion is completely insignificant.
Most likely, it will turn out that there are very few significant people from the first category. What happens if you don’t meet their expectations? What specific steps will you take if you find out that one of them did not think as well of you as you would like? Is it really that terrible?
Then write down: your values, strengths and weaknesses, goals, desires, dreams, principles, what path you are following and why. “Only a person who has found himself can overcome dependence on other people’s opinions. After all, he knows himself better than any voices around him,” comments psychologist Dmitrieva.
“Take off your crown! You cannot control the thoughts of others. Even if you have excellent manners, this does not mean that you will be good to everyone. Everything can be misinterpreted and turned upside down. Even if you are an angel, there will be those who will be irritated by the rustling of your wings,” explains the psychologist.
The expert notes that, according to research, the average person has about 50,000 thoughts a day. It turns out that even if someone thinks about you 100(!) times a day, this will amount to no more than 0.2% of all his thoughts! But 100 times a day, even your own mother doesn’t think about you. “People don’t think about you, but about themselves and what you think about them,” the psychologist concludes.
